How to love your man
You've probably heard this a million times before: Men are visual, women are verbal. Men are impulsive, whereas women like to analyze things. Men are ruled by Mars, while women are ruled by Venus. Blah blah blah and all that stuff. So since the two parties are opposite in many ways, it makes sense that the male and female hearts swell for different reasons for sure. While your heart may probably flutter when your guy says, “I love you,” the same three words from you may not appeal so much to him.
So how do you show that you love your man the way he wants?
1) Give him your undivided attention.
Okay, girls, I know we have been growing up with scientists and psychologists and all that professionals you can think of telling us that we function very differently from men (you know firsthand how well you multitask). BUT your man doesn't understand how this whole process works. He doesn't understand how you can perform multiple tasks at once. Thus, he will very much appreciate it if you can focus solely on him when he's trying to make a conversation with you or anything like that. So make eye contact while he’s talking and limit interruptions.
2) Let him take charge.
Believe it or not, the so-called stoic sex is hardwired to nurture. Sheltering you from harm makes him feel studly. No, I don't mean that you should act helpless and weak all the time. But letting him see your vulnerable side will draw him closer to you as it triggers his instincts to take care of you. So give him chances to take charge, then thank him for that. Let him have his little Superman moment.
3) Compliment him.
Throughout time, men have had to fight and provide to attract and keep women—and they aren't afraid to pull out the masculinity measuring sticks when potential competitors come around. Let your guy know you think of him the way he’d love to be seen: as a provider, problem-solver, handyman, and knight in shining armor. Genuine compliments on his looks and strength reassure him that you admire him, which, indefinitely, equates to love. For instance, when he pops the lid on the jam jar with ease, mention how appreciative you are to have a strong man around. Tell him he's macho. Tell him he's your hero. Tell him he looks so dashing. Yep, he'll love it. Keep it genuine, you don't want to sound sarcastic or insincere.
4) Encourage him.
While this may sound very similar to the previous point, giving compliments and encouragements are very different things. If you want your man to know that you love him, give him your support in everything he do (Come'on do I have to emphasize how important this is? This is a given, like duh). Encourage him to achieve his goals every day, whether they are big or small. If he's having any doubts about himself or his abilities, list all of the things that make him so so wonderful to you, let him know what he is capable of doing.
Write him a small 'good luck' note before an interview, exam and an events like that. Remember, always be there behind his back to give him your full support. Though he may appear to be super confident and all, he still needs that little words of encouragement from you.
5) Thank him.
{During our Bintan trip in June}
Express your gratitude, no matter how small that action of his was. Show him you appreciate him and everything he did. Girls, get this right. Men don't do things for you out of no reason. They want you to know that they can take care for you and protect you.
More often than not, we find ourselves rushing through life, and we forget to notice the little favors they do for us. Not making the situation any better, you need to know that guys will never open their mouth to tell you what they need or want. We often take these little acts for granted, thinking that guys are obligated to do these for us. They do have feelings, too. So, in return, respond to his actions by a simple 'Thank you' or a peck on the cheek.
It works both ways. Doing small favours for your man shows your affection too, especially when he's in a pinch. These favours may be small, but they'll add up. Lets say, he's busy, then buy him lunch and surprise him at his house. When you see his favourite food/things while you're out, buy for him. Send his random texts telling him you love him. (Don't overdo it though, you don't want to appear needy and creepy.) These little acts remind him of how important he is in your heart, and of course, he'll do the same too.
6) Learn to compromise.
Show your guy that you care by making it clear that being happy is more important than being right all the time. Both of you need to work together to make decisions, be it big or small. You need to learn to factor him into all of your decisions and to be able to concede some of the time. Show respect to each other's decisions and preferences, and take turns to give in. Don't always give in to his needs, and don't let him give in to yours all the time, too. Strike to achieve a balance between both.
Being in a relationship means giving AND receiving. These two come together. Decide in what's best that will make both of you the most happy collectively.
7) Learn to say you're sorry.
Be responsible for your mistakes. If you're in the wrong, let him know how truly sorry you are by saying the words like you really mean them, and assuring him that you feel terrible for hurting him unintentionally. Conversely, if you're too stubborn to say apologize, I guess we both know where this relationship will head towards. It certainly won't last.
He wants to date a sensible girlfriend. Someone whom he can protect like a little princess. Someone whim he can hang out with like a best friend of an entire lifetime. Someone whom he can date like a classy lady. And, someone whom he can talk to like a mature woman. Not an immature little girl whose irrational and unreasonable all the time.
Also, learn to accept his apologies too. You can fume a little once in a while, but understand that he feels terrible too. Don't hold a grudge, or you'll never be able to move forward. I mean honestly, can you stay mad at your boyfriend for long? I can't. Not any longer than 5 minutes.
8) Personal space.
While you may not hesitate to ask for you time, your guy may have trouble verbalizing what he needs. Occasionally, suggest he take a day to relax with friends, play video games, work on the car or just sleep in. Give him all that freedom he needs. He needs some me-time, like us, too.
9) Dress up for him.
Dolling up sends the message that you still want to look good for him, no matter how long you've been together. And to me, looking presentable is a form of respect to whoever you're going out with. Of course, this not only apply to your boyfriends or husbands, same goes to your family and friends. It's so so so important to dress appropriately. Men’s brains are wired to respond to visual cues more than women’s brains, so seeing you in that sexy dress shows him you desire him. Also, researches show that ladies in red are an aphrodisiac to men. So, now you know what to get on your next shopping spree. *wink*
10) Feed him well.
Yep, you're right, this delectable burger here is made by Chef Chloe here. *flips hair*
Mini turkey burger and mini ham-and-cheese burger with potato salad (on the top right corner) and scallop with homemade salsa.
*Both photos are by my boyfriend*
That old adage is true: “The best way to a man’s heart may be through his belly.” Knowing what he likes to eat without having to ask him demonstrates how well you know him. And oftentimes, the couples who know even the smallest details about each other have the happiest relationships. Well, yes, your guy will love anything you prepare for him. That's for sure. Yeap, this is definitely the case for me. Even when what I'd prepared taste horrid (to me), he never fails to finish everything, telling me it tasted delicious. But honestly guys, making his favourite dish for him just takes everything to a whole next level. Trust me on this.
11) Learn to love the things he loves.
Though he won't expect you to stay up all night watching a match of your favourite soccer team, if you really want to show him your love, you'll have to enjoy some of the things that are important to him. Get involved with his interests and hobbies. Show him that you're making an effort to be part of his life. Take the time to get to know and love things related to his hobbies and interests. Just remember to maintain your identity. In any healthy and long relationship, the tastes of both members of a couple may naturally converge, but this doesn't mean you have to drop all of your interests and become a clone of your boyfriend. That will be a major turn-off, to be honest.
Love, Chloe
Labels: beauty, blogger, chloe xu xiaohui, chloewly, fashion, guides, how to love your man, korea, life, love, makeup, miss singapore global beauty queen, relationship
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